Heart to Heart
This had to be a joke, I prayed to God that it was because no one could be this sick or cruel to actually do something this disgusting. My grandfather. I assumed he didn’t know ahead of time, I hoped he didn’t; if so, that’s even more gut wrenching.
“Girls, I’m sorry, I didn’t want you guys to find out this way.” My father, Owen, whispered, trying to hide his embarrassment but his caramel skin quickly turned light red.
“You knew?” I asked without worrying about my tone or volume level, no more secrets.
“Not the whole time, just recently. I didn’t know how to tell you any of it.” He explained, looking back and forth at my sister and I. “Please, try to understand.” My father tried to touch me but I slapped his hand away, rushing through the all the party goers towards the parking lot when Chris’ car was.
I could hear someone’s footsteps behind me and when I turned around, I was surprised to see Shae. We didn’t speak, just from the look in her eyes; I knew that she felt the same as I did. Confused. Once we got home, things had definitely changed in our lives, just by the way that we were.
That night, it brought us closer.
1 Month Later
Things weren’t the same, at least with my mother and father. It was awkward, thankfully I only had a short period of time that I would be in this city, college coming sooner than I had expected. My father tries, but nothing seems to work, things just aren’t the same.
My grandfather, but we refuse to call him that, has tried to reach out to us a few times over the weeks with little success. Shae, she has no interest in my father or his lover, which is completely understandable. Me on the other hand, I don’t know how to feel. Sometimes I find anger inside of my heart and I want to hate him, but I just can’t.
It makes my skin crawl to think of my father knowing just who Wesley was but continuing on with their little fling. Who am I kidding, though? It’s not a fling, but more of a full blown romance. They live together, can you believe that?
Things have started to make sense though, almost like the puzzle is piecing together, every little detail now clearer in my mind. I understand why he would want us over his house on specific days, and his rule of no popping up unannounced is now understandable. It all makes sense.
The anger isn’t common anymore, perhaps the time has allowed me to calm my emotions and think with a level head. Although I want to hate him, like I said, it’s impossible; I love him too much. He is still my father; he still has the same face, the same eyes that light up when his goofy laugh escapes from his lips. Those rough hands that used to hold onto mine when I was a child are still the same, and his voice. Sometimes I hear it, and it makes me feel a little bit better.
I hear him reading stories to my sister and I late at night when we were supposed to be asleep, violating our curfew against my mother’s wishes, but it didn’t matter because we were spending time with my dad. My dad, I feel horrible that I look at him differently now, I wonder if he’s always felt this way and has lied to soften the blow.
The thoughts have become too much lately, so I’ve done everything to distract myself from it, throwing myself completely into planning an amazing birthday celebration for Chris. Through this hard time, he has been my rock, there for me through everything, so I wanted to show him my appreciation by giving him a special 19th birthday.
Luckily he was out with Dre, enough time for me to buy his gift and get everything into the car. After filling the trunk up with everything that we needed, I headed out to the mall before I had to pick Chris up, using the little bit of money that I had managed to save up, but it didn’t matter because Chris is worth it.
It’s clear that I’m in love with him, so in love that I’ll do anything for him.
“Oh yeah, hol’ up!” Dre shouted from behind me as I walked towards the curb where Kim awaited in the car, music escaping from the rolled down windows.
“’Sup?” I asked, licking my lips and turning around to see him walking towards me with a sly grin. “Nigga, no.” I smirked, quickly shaking my head back and forth, throwing my hands up as a defense mechanism.
“C’mon, bol’, you thought I was gon’ forget.” Dre balled his boney fists up and walked closer to me, swinging his arm but stopping just before hitting my arm. “Just playin’, I’ll get you later. Happy birthday, my brotha.”
Letting out a loud laugh, I smiled wide and hugged my best friend back, his hand squeezing the back of my neck. “Damn, nigga. You’re going to kill me, at least let me see 19.”
“Whatever, man. What y’all bout to do anyways?” He asked, sliding his hands into the pockets of his faded black sweats.
Shrugging, I turned to look at Kim, large sun glasses hiding her eyes. “I don’t know, it’s a surprise.”
Dre walked with me to the car, speaking to Kimmie as I climbed into my seat and buckled up. Starting up the car, Kim turned to look at me, placing her hand on my thigh.
“You two crazy kids don’t do nothin’ I wouldn’t do.” Dre teased, ironically he had asked me if I had protection earlier in the day. His exact words, ‘I don’t want my little nigga having a little nigga already.’
Both Kimmie and I laugh at my foolish friend, as we eased down the street, but Kim pulled over at the end of the corner, pulling something from her bag.
“Turn your head.” She instructed.
“For what?” I asked, lifting my chin in attempt to get a better view of what she had a grasp of.
“Just do it.”
“Ooh, sassy. I like that.” I bit down on my bottom lip, wagging my eyebrows up and down before laughing a bit.
“Christopher.” She hissed, a smile on her face as well.
“Fine, don’t tell me.” Turning around, Kim placed some type of silky fabric over my eyes, I suppose that was the whole purpose of a surprise, to keep me in the dark until we arrived at the location. “I’m excited, babe. What are we ‘bout to do? Does it involve whipped cream and chocolate?” I faced Kim, even though I couldn’t see her, I knew the exact expression on her face, an involuntary cackle falling from my lips just by the thought.
The ride was longer than I had expected, somehow I had managed to fall into a light slumber, waking up to Kims’ lips pressed against mine.
“See, I knew it was gonna be something freaky.” I teased, seductively pulling on her plump bottom lip with my teeth.
“You must not want your surprise.” She whispered, letting her fingernails travel up and down the center of my chest.
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry.” Throwing my hands up, I held onto her waist and wobbled onto my feet, feeling some type of bark beneath the soles of my sneakers. “Where are we?”
Kim clutched onto my hand and pulled me behind her, I hesitantly lifted my feet to walk forward, paranoid that I could fall or something worse; my imagination beyond vivid.
“You ready?” Kimmie asked, wrapping her arms around my waist from behind.
“Yeah. Wait, no. Yes. I don’t know.”
She laughed at my incisiveness, using her cool fingers to trail up my neck, untying the blindfold from around my eyes. It took a moment for me to take in my surroundings, a smile forming onto my face once I realized where we were.
“Are you serious?” I couldn’t help but grin, turning to look at Kim who was obviously nervous for my reaction. “Kim- I love you so damn much.” Rushing towards her, I wrapped my arms around her torso and lifted her from her feet, letting my lips trail along her warm neck.
“I thought you might like it.”
“I love it, babe. This is amazing.” After making sure she was stable on her feet, I walked further into the area in the woods where a tent was already set up, along with a cooler and blankets. Not only was the camping trip meaningful, but the fact that she remembered something so minor and made it special meant the world to me. I love her.
“How’d you do all this by yourself?” I asked with a grunt, lowering my head to look inside of the tent that was set up already with the things we would need throughout the night.
“Dre helped me.”
“That nigga, he knew the whole time and didn’t say shit.”
“Good, he promised to keep his mouth shut.” Kim laughed, pressing the button on the keys to lock the car doors before following me further into the small area we would call home for the time being.
Plopping down onto the sea of blankets, I pulled her closer to me. A fruity scent invaded my nostrils as she rested against my chest, my legs on either side of her thighs.
“How’d I get so lucky?” I asked just above a whisper, softly kissing the lobe of her ear.
“I don’t know, I’m pretty lucky myself.” She murmured, turning over and practically pushing me flat onto my back before straddling my lap.
I let my hands rest on the small of her back, parting her lips with my tongue and kissing her deeply. Minutes had passed and we stayed in that position, losing ourselves in the moment of passion. Her breathing was choppy and shallow when she pulled back, wearing a small smile on her gorgeous face.
“Wait, why you stop?” I mumbled, pushing a stray hair back into her neat bun.
“Because, I thought you might want your gift.”
Sitting up straight, I fixed my pants and peered around the tent until I saw a small box sitting in the corner, wrapped in red wrapping paper. “That’s it?” I asked with a smile, glancing back at Kim to see her nodding her head.
“Mhm.” She replied, sitting down and crossing her legs Indian style.
“What is it?” I tried to fight back to large cheesy grin that so badly wanted to form on my face, never having a birthday as special as this before made me excited.
This was supposed to happen before, but with my brother, Deon. He promised. We were supposed to go camping, just the two of us, I was nine years old and he promised.
“I’ll be back, I’m going to get the stuff for smores.” Deon zipped his heavy coat up before pulling a beanie down over his freshly cut hair.
I waited for hours, sitting on the stoop of my raggedy house, hoping that he had just been delayed by traffic and that he’d be back. He never did come back. Not until a day later, drunk off his ass and with some girl. He didn’t even remember, and I never brought it back up, mostly out of shame. I was too embarrassed to remind him of something that seemed so petty, knowing that he would mock me for it at a later time.
That’s the day that I realized I had to grow up, no one cared about me, so I had to look out for myself.
I tore at the paper on the box like a child on Christmas morning, my jaw nearly hitting the ground once I caught a glimpse of what was hidden under the gift wrap.
“Wow.” Was all I could murmur, letting my tongue trail along my now dry lips. “How’d you get the money to buy this, baby? It’s way too expensive, I can’t-.”
“Chris, stop. I saved my money up and bought it because I wanted to, you will accept it and you will take some more beautiful pictures.”
Wiping the tear forming in my eyes, I stared down at the camera I’ve been drooling over for almost a year, shocked that it was actually mine now. As I placed it down on the blanket, I looked back up at Kim who was already gazing at me with a light smile.
“C’mere.” I whispered, chewing on the corner of my lower lip.
She looked sort of angelic under the hint of light peeking through the slit in the entrance, pulling her hands from her pockets and crawling over to me. My hands clutched tight onto her hips as I pulled her into my lap, wrapping her legs around my waist before pressing my lips against her cheek.
“I love you, Kim. I swear- I don’t even know what to say. I love you.” Resting my forehead against the side of her face, I was too ashamed to look her in the eyes, afraid that she would think I was less of man to be shedding a few tears.
Kims’ hands were soft when she cupped my face and lifted it so that we were gazing at one another, her face blurry from the water in the bottom of my eyes. She used her thumb to clear them before they trickled down my cheeks, moving forward so that her forehead was up against mine.
“I love you, Christopher. You are my everything.”
Within seconds, we were back at kissing with so much passion and some lust, my lips meeting and sucking with her now heated skin. My fingers grasped onto the cold metal zipper of her jacket and I slowly slid it down to reveal her curvy body.
She wore nothing but a thin t-shirt underneath, so I could feel her skin as I pushed the thick coat from her shoulders. Kim let out light breaths as I held onto her jaw with my large hands, kissing her again, this time slowly and softly.
“Let me show you how much I love you, Kimmie.”